Here's a little taster of the REAL Clawless Novel!
Get your claws sharpened and ready for the drama, cat fights, hissy fits and all things cat'a'licious!
Lights! Camera! Action!
It was raining cats and
dogs - but mainly cats - outside the MacTartan Manor, family home of the
fabulously wealthy late Wee Jock MacTartan. He‘d been known in the business world simply
as Canny Jock, cat slumlord and designer of breakaway collars and other
practical feline fashions before, with the urging of his family, opening the
fashion HOUSE OF LE CLAW for cat couture.
Seated behind the late
Jock´s carved zebrawood desk was a black cat of thin fur and sly gold eyes, who
appraised the gathering while rustling the papers from his briefcase. Once he
locked eyes with the gorgeous widow of Wee Jock, Solange (formerly) du Chat.
They exchanged ‘a look’.
High up on top of the
bookcase sat Jock´s younger son and right-paw cat, Arfur, mending what looked
like a cape.
A pile of fabric piled
in a chair held the plush and fluffy form of the elder son Clawde, who was
doodling designs on a sketch pad. He
was, like his brother, jet black but unlike him had a dash of white down his
front.
Close by hunkered
Clawde´s mate, the gorgeous tabby and white Clawdette, who indignantly observed
the byplay between Furry Faceon and Solange.
"We are gathered
here for the reading of the will," Lawyer Faceon began. "Here´s the
deal. Arfur, nothing changes about your position--you will go on being the cat
who is the cat’s- body while everyone else takes the glory. Clawde, you get the House
of Le Claw to share with your brother." And Lawyer Faceon started packing
up the papers.
"What about this
house - the other assets and all the money?" Clawdette cried. “What about
all the money!“ She realised she was shrieking now and jumped down from the
mantelpiece where she had been sitting
to observe all around her.
"Oh, you can stay
here. Other money?" Lawyer Faceon asked. "There´s nothing here about
other money” .
Solange fluttered her
long lashes at Faceon and asked "What about me? Surely my beloved Wee Jock
has left something for me?"
A lone tear ran down
her furry cheek and she dabbed the tear with her purrfectly manicured paw.
Clawdette stared
murderously at Solange. How dare that cheap alley-cat show up today. She had
only been married to Wee Jock for what seemed like minutes ... possibly because
it was minutes! She had married him on his death-basket. Surely that couldn´t be legal? Her very
beautiful green eyes narrowed as she made a note to herself to check with
Lawyer Faceon exactly what the legal position would be. Surely she wouldn´t be
entitled to a share of the will? She also decided to have a word with the
Clawless Costume Designer as Solange´s gown looked more expensive than hers.
A clap of thunder
crashed overhead. It echoed the tension
in the room. Solange gave a short cry and Clawdette took the chance to say
something..
´Solange, I recognise
that dress. I had one just like it until I gave it to the charity shop!´ She
giggled whilst Solange, owner of Le Chat Models - scowled at her.
Clawdette’s tail
curled around her and she purred remembering her early morning session with
purrsonal trainer, Handsome. Clawde didn´t love her and never had but she had
found what she needed in the paws of the gorgeous black and white tom who
attended to her every day.
Purrdita, their
handsome Burmese kitten was nearby, licking at a saucer of cream and uncertain
as yet what to say.
Clawdette watched
Clawde as he dived into a plate of Fancy Feast, tuna flavour - ´He loves food
more than me´ she told herself and shuddered.
Clawde looked up to see
his mate´s reproachful look. "What?" he asked silently. "Of
course I love food more than her. She loves food more than me too. What´s the
big deal?" Once every male cat has
been on ‘that’ trip to
the vet - they all preferred food to queens.
Furry Faceon played his
cards close to his chest. If Solange played HER cards right there may be a
portion of the fortune for her - the part that he already embezzled to help
fund his catnip habit!
Arfur looked down at
his beloved wife, Furnella, and squeezed his eyes together. She returned the
eye squeeze and leapt nimbly to the top of the bookcase to be with him. Love
would keep them together, come what may.
Clawdette banged her
little paw down on the table where she sat en route to her basket.
´But wait Furry Faceon
... Cut to the quick. What did the old geezer, er ... our beloved father in law
... leave for his um, widow ...´ She glared at Solange and crossed her paws in
the hope he will say ´Nothing´. She gestured to her cheek to Clawde by way of
telling him that he had food all over his face. She wondered if he had left any
for her.
Furry Faceon looked
blank. "Oh, the widow. Something I imagine--her jewels, that kind of
thing. There´s a lot of fine print. I suggest the lady in question visits me at
the office and we´ll go into the details of any possible additional
bequests." He waggled his upper whiskers suggestively.
Clawde scratched behind
his ear. "Vague kind of will for pops to leave behind. He was usually such
a pain about being thorough."
"Mr Faceon, that
sounds like a purrfect idea" Solange purred to Furry Faceon, ignoring
Clawde. She turned to Clawdette, flashed a broad smile and elegantly left the
room.
As she turned to close the door behind her she surveyed the scene behind
her, thinking
"Ahh enjoy your
peace my furry step kittens, it won´t last long"
Catching Furry´s eye,
she winked and blew a quick kiss and closed the door before anyone else could
see her.
Clawdette scowled at
Clawde. ´How dare he imply that the alley cat may have been given anything more
than a few collars?´
She made a note to
redecorate the house from top to bottom and to have Purrdita wormed. She sneaked a glance at Furry Faceon and
wondered if it was worth flirting with
him? From under her basket she pulled out a hastily scribbled piece of paper
and held it high above her head. It said ´Last will and testyment of Wee Jock
...´ Look I have a will. She read ...
´I leave NOTHING to
that shabby, moth eaten old moggie that I mistakenly married having had one too
many grogs!!´
“LOOK!” she said … hoping
that no one will look too closely at what she has in her paw! (or that it is
written in her paw writing).
But wait .. what is that mad laughing noise
that filled the room as if from over the Rainbow Bridge?
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So, our wunderpurr readers, that brings us to the end of todays little nom nom taster!
We hope most utterly sincerely that you've enjoyed it and will spread the word to help save the lives of many kitties that the profits of this novel go to support.
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You can purchase the book from any of the following:
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Thanks from all the Clawless Crew